Friends

It had been a while since i'd seen my friend, and to this date he is one of the best male friends I think i'v ever had. Our friendship began as a bit of fluke, as I needed someone to show me around college and he was the nearest person to me in the room that could act as a guide. He is different  in the fact that he doesn’t mind being seen with me and there is zero sexual chemistry. When I implied to him I was gay, which in my opinion is very obvious in the way I dress, and yet some people still don’t see it, he didn’t suddenly bamboozle me with a series of inappropriate questions. He is just a genuinely nice guy, and from what I can gather we are genuinely nice to each other. While i'm always hesitant to trust, yesterday we let each other know that we are in our ‘elite’ as he so eloquently and comically put it, and I discovered that he seems to have a similar outlook on life and people as I do. See, it was by pure chance that I came out to him as intersex. I nicked myself shaving with a neat razor blade and he noticed. Instead of coming up with a ridiculous excuse I was spur of the moment honest, and he hasn’t made me regret it since.

I just told him that I had to shave due to a hormone imbalance, and in that split second after, the one which normally drags and makes your heart beat faster whenever you come out, i noticed that he didn’t seem bothered by it at all. it made me realize how sick I was of hiding and worrying and doubting myself, so I explained then and there that my doctors had discovered my condition. He looked like he was going to cry, and i just knew that it was a ‘if you're gonna cry, then i'm gonna cry’ situation so I feebly tried to laugh it off. I felt somewhat liberated though. I can only assume that it did not have too much of an impact on him and his life, but just by having someone that i could talk to about this sort of thing was enormously comforting, particularly seeing as we did so in humorous ways, which in my experience is the best way to deal with problems.

Like most people, or atleast what I assume most people feel, is that we need to talk about things in order for them to be real. I need acceptance from other humans to put my life into perspective and ultimately make myself feel better. That is the closest thing I have to an answer when people ask me why bother coming out. Why else would I put myself through the grueling process of telling my family members and alienating myself from close friends. This guy is one of very, very few that are not by any means trans-phobic, or at least I would like to think so, and that alone has made my month that little bit brighter and my faith in humanity that little bit stronger.