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I expect that my friend took the news to me being...shall we say ‘gender non conforming’ so well because he is studying gender issues in his psychology course. It is very refreshing to find someone who doesn’t act as if I am impossible to socialise with. All too often people don’t treat me like a person, and it’s that which makes me so hesitant to tell anyone about my ‘condition’. I presume that he doesn’t know he is one of the only people who knows this information, but then I didn’t make that known to him, and I didn’t specify it as a secret. At that point I didn’t think I’d care if people knew, after all, what’s a little more gender related taunting in the halls? But all I know is that briefly talking to him has the ability to lift my spirits enormously, firstly because I am able to deal with my problems through humor, and secondly because he knows and continues to talk to me like a human being. It is so rare that I get to meet people who truly inspire me, and he is one of those people. 

He is relatively sensitive as well, which I find to be unusual for straight men and it means that I can be myself entirely without fighting to act stereo typically male to still be spoken to. There was a time when he seemed hesitant to tell me a dirty joke, or surprised to notice that I actually enjoy painting my nails for reasons I wish I knew, but for the most part I’d like to think he treats me simply as I am. His girlfriend is also incredibly nice, and I was able to lay on their bed without that uncomfortable, threatened glare I see all too often from straight girls.

I was on the brink of tears in college about everything once, and my good friend hugged me. I wrestled him off of me a little out of habit, but truth be told it was the first time in a long time someone held me and told me that everything was going to be okay, at least without an ulterior motive. It was not unlike the scene in good will hunting when Robin Williams comforts Ben Affleck repeating “Its not your fault.” I guess I needed that comfort much more than I would ever have imagined.

 Speaking with him makes me feel okay to be so incredibly different, and while he doesn’t know all that much about the LGBT community he is very much open minded and far from a  ‘lesbro’. Words cannot describe how rare this is to find in white, middle class straight men, and i feel incredibly privileged and grateful to have met him.