Self Love

I heard a joke the other day that if you're inter-sex you can just fuck yourself silly. Well instead of being offended, I got thinking, and I came to the conclusion that i want to date myself. I am the only one that knows everything about myself, all of my wants, all of my needs, we have so much in common: we would never argue. There would never be unfair opinions or judgments made about myself. I wouldn’t have to break it to myself that I have an un-gendered personality and body to match. I could take myself out for dinner and a movie, i would order my favorite and watch the latest flick that i wanted. I could take myself clubbing and to restaurants and dress up nicely for myself and hold my bag and open doors for myself and give myself total control of the remote and my favorite side of the bed. 

I would never have to compromise. I  would share all of the same interests, and i would never have to disappoint myself or get anything wrong. I wouldn’t have to start the relationship out with any hidden qualities or untrue pretenses. I would love myself for all of my faults and see clearly all of my virtues. I would consider myself both strong and pretty and i would let myself know daily. 

So today my dear readers, i'm going to ask myself out, and i'm not just a little nervous about it, but then i'm gonna take myself out for a nice romantic stroll on the beach followed by a movie night with all of my favorite films, run myself a luxurious bath, paint my toenails for myself and eat all the best junk. One day i'll treat myself on a shopping spree when I've saved enough money up, and then I'll plan a great surprise for myself for valentines day and I'll tell myself how strong I've been over the years and how lucky i am to have myself. Then I'll muse about how funny it is that I can appreciate all of my own talents and that I can love all of my own little habits and quirks. 

Problem is, I am scared that I'll cheat on myself, or that I wont be able to bring myself to have sex with myself because my body is so different to the soul that's inside. Or worse still I will get somewhat far into the relationship and panic, breaking up with myself because I am not used to being honest and happy with myself. Either all of that, or I'll just ask myself out and turn myself down right then and there. I'm too scared of committing to myself. Maybe I am just better off single...